DANGEROUS WINDS

Instead of doing this I should probably be helping S with his Wind project. I actually know a fair deal about wind, types of wind, how it is formed, measuring wind and so forth. I am particularly familiar with SBD wind (I notice one of his topic titles is "Dangerous Winds") - Silent But Deadly wind, its effects and how to measure it.

It is formed by eating certain foods that include:-

- curry

- cabbage

- beans

- hippie food

It is widely accepted as the most noxious of all human gas emissions and the most effective for evacuating a room or building. Being trapped in a small, enclosed space when this type of wind occurs can be deadly and extreme caution is advised when getting into elevators with white people wearing tie-dyed or ethnic African clothes, bead or leather jewellery and hair in ponytails. Women in sandals and unshaved legs are particularly hazardous.

When SBD winds occur they usually blow for several hours and are occasionally accompanied by small "wet farts" and a burning sensation commonly know as "ring sting". These winds eventually die down after a dramatic bathroom event that may require the subsequent services of a plumber, a painter, a set of noseplugs, some diaper rash cream and a pack of Gravol.

This is a very dangerous wind.

Please make careful food choices.

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