COMMUNICATIONS

I had to speak a lot of Portuguese today which was really hard for me. I must have sounded like a total arsehole ... and don't even start. Those of of you who are thinking Ag it's ok to sound like an arsehole when you're not speaking your own language - NEWSFLASH: You might feel it's ok and even be proud of doing it ... but you DO sound like an arsehole. I know because I judge foreigners speaking English poorly all the time. It's funny. They sound frikkin' funny sometimes. Right now I am wearing a nightie (nightgown? pyjamas, jim jams, jarmies, sleepwear - what exactly is it called once you're older than 8 and wearing something that isn't wedged in your crack or laced up and ready to be ripped off by a lover?). Anyway right now I am wearing something I plan to sleep in that I bought in Germany. It says on it "The sun is watching you / You can't watch at the sun" - FUNNY. It's funny because whoever wrote it thought they were being witty, but actually, thanks one of many tiny oddities in our language, they have ended up being appreciated only for their humorously poor grasp of the English language. It was funny enough to me anyway that I paid good money for this passion-killer and what's more have continued wearing it for the better part of 15 years.

I suddenly feel a little shabby.

Worst things to happen today

I played golf rather badly, but of course I shouldn't complain. Anyone who can play golf on a Tuesday morning, whether they play poorly or not, is in no position to be complaining

I had to have a long and awkward conversation with the gardener in Portuguese. I won't go into it but it was a downer and placed me in the middle of a moral dilemma.

I flossed my bottom back left molars too vigorously and hurt my gum.

Best things to happen today

I was waved down at school and required to engage in conversation with a lovely, well-groomed woman I do like very much. Unusually, I was not caught in scruffy sweats with dribbles of yoghurt down the front from eating breakfast in the car, and with overnight make-up smudges under my eyes (which usually remain until after gym each day when I shower) and bad breath. Yes, that was good. Lucky me.

D got her ISA test results and they were GREAT. Well beyond my expectations. Even Math wasn't awful. I swear that child has been shittin' me all this time (pardonez-moi). But she has.

I realized there are less than 300 calories in a Twix. And if only for that reason and the fact they have biscuit in them, I've decided to think of it as a cookie from now on. I may even throw Kit Kat into the cookie category.

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