REAR-ENDED

It has been suggested I raise my blogs to a more intellectually acceptable level. Sadly I am not sure I can. Where I used to think I was pretty smart based on my ability to pass exams well enough, drive better than everyone else, play bridge better than anyone else, judge and formulate international foreign and economic policies better than anyone else, judge people's characters without even meeting them better than anyone else and run businesses and government departments better than anyone else, now I am not so certain. There are times I sit amongst people that are surely no smarter than I am, and yet they, unlike me, actually have jobs - they each do a job of work worth money. And because they are out there doing these jobs, speaking with adults and circulating in a community outside of school and recreation, they manage to keep vaguely up to date with current affairs, international politics, important local issues and business trends. So while they talk across me and over my head, I pick at my hangnails, wonder when I last had a haircut, think about how many calories there are in 3 medium ice-cream sundaes and whether or not making tricky decisions at the bridge table for 3 hours burns off more of them than sitting on my ass watching 3 recorded episodes of Ugly Betty.
Raise my blog to a more intellectual level? Yes. I should probably move on from the subject of flatulence, I admit, although flatulence is funny. Even the word "flatulence" sounds a bit like a fart, but a nasty one followed by a sprint to the bathroom. See? There I go again ... I am sorry, but I doubt I am capable of anything loftier.

I have also realized that I will never find time to blog every day. So I shall sit down when I can, write my thoughts and endeavour to steer them in a more mature direction.

Worst things recently

Orphans

I waved them off again this a.m., spinning down the volume on my radio (it seemed decadent to be listening to loud music with someone begging for food or money inches away) and hiding the piece of toast I was munching on below my seat. It stuck in my craw. But what to do? I realize they are not necessarily all actual orphans, but that doesn't change the fact that they are seriously underprivileged. Handing coins out the window every single day at every single traffic light is madness. I did that at first, but found the crowd of "orphans" grew and grew. The more you pay, the more of them there are to pay and when there are no coins there is a desperate banging on the window as they crowd the car risking their safety and disturbing the traffic. So that is not the answer.

But how big do you have to go to make a difference - what kind of contribution will really HELP? Do you volunteer at orphanages? Do you feed people at shelters? Donate? Educate? Facilitate? Probably. But even that is small potatoes. It doesn't solve anything in the long run. There are people going bigger. This country is full of international agencies and companies working on aid, development and education programmes to try to improve the average lot in life here, but even though they may be making a dent, they'll never be able to do enough. No matter how BIG you go (from coins out the window to billion $ aid packages), it seems those orphans will be there anyway, every day, banging on windows and crying they're hungry. They will disappear when Africa is not dependent on the charity of others, when it is free from poor government, war, corruption, exploitation, AIDS, poverty, illiteracy etc. So in other words never. How depressing.

So I do continue to shell out coins and food to the needy, but not to this lot at the traffic lights outside my house. They have a good, lucrative spot, I think. They don't do too badly. I shell out randomly where there is less chance I will be doggedly pursued by swarms of orphans, beggars and cripples who see me as a regular cash dispenser, the way I was here for a time.

Best things recently

Holger found kitty litter at Game, here in Maputo! So we don't have to drive to another country just to buy some, thank God. In light of the absence or shortage of litty litter I have considered toilet training the cats .... like this guy ...

http://www.projo.com/cgi-bin/include.pl/blogs/shenews/archives/weekninetyfive.htm#mingcat

AND! While looking for cat-toilet training tips, I found THIS! ... A Cat Litter Cake. OMG. I have to try it.

Here is the recipe:-

(from www.spousebuzz.com/.../12/kitty-litter--1.html)

1 cup crushed Oreos
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup Peppermint Schnapps
1 1/2 tsp honey or corn syrup
Grape Nuts Cereal
1) Mix Oreos, sugar, Schnapps, and honey together. Let sit about ten minutes. If still too sticky to work with, add a teaspoon or so of sugar.
2) coat hands with butter spray and fashion balls (traditional) or fake poops out of the mixture.
3) spread grape nuts on a pan in a very shallow layer.
4) lay freshly made "poops" on the bed of Grape Nuts while still sticky.
5) Allow to dry overnight before serving.

... peppermint scnhapps, corn syrup, Grape Nuts, Oreos ... in Maputo! You never know. Where there is Kitty Litter there could be Grape Nuts. Hard to differentiate one from the other actually.

HOW IS IT I HAVE GONE FROM FLATULENCE TO CAT SHITE WITHOUT SKIPPING A BEAT, even when my intention was to steer well away from such topics?

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